


Everything Always

by bellchloe



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Coming Out, Exes, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29550960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellchloe/pseuds/bellchloe
Summary: This is the untold story of Sunset Curve. More specifically, this is the story of Alex Mercer and Luke Patterson's ever evolving relationship with the world, with themselves, and with each other. Told through shifting perspectives and time periods, we discover exactly what happened before the band's tragic death of July 1995, but also what we missed in between episodes of Julie and the Phantoms.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	1. Luke Comes Home

**December 16th, 1994**

"So I left, a-and I got no regrets, Alex, absolutely none," Luke was, as he usually is when feeling, as Reggie would put it, particularly punky, in interminable motion, rotating from the old leather couch to the table of snacks Alex's mom had set out to the stool set right next to the drumset, his journal constantly bouncing between his hands. Those hands, thought Alex, seemed much less confident than the boy attached to them; they were shaking, unsure of the rambling speech escaping Luke's lips. Alex knew Luke was scared, but figured, after the confusion of the night before, he needed to let him play the tough guy for a second, the rogue musician on the run from parents who "just didn't understand." He didn't feel the need to mention he wasn't the only one with that problem, and that a reasonable alternative to running away would have been keeping his guitar under his bed and gigs discreet; parents can't disapprove of something they don't know exists. Alex had been practicing a similar technique since 3rd grade, and his mom had yet to notice the Joey Lawrence poster in his closet or the make-shift fake earring he made out of a paperclip. No, it was better if Luke didn't hear all of this right now.

It was strange to think that less than 8 hours ago Alex was called from his bed by rocks on the window. It was all pretty overwhelming— his best friend nearly breaking glass all over his desk, scaling the house in a way that made him have to look away, and toppling through his bedroom window, guitar strapped tightly to his back, whispering a mixture of thanks, curses, and what seemed to be suppressed sobs never permitted to leave his throat. Alex didn't ask any questions, but he did grab Luke a glass of water, a spare mattress from the hall closet, and an absurdly large bundle of blankets— 

"It's the middle of December, Luke, I don't want you freezing." 

"In Los Angeles?" 

"It could happen!"

When morning came, Alex didn't tell Luke how he had heard him crying in the night, nor did he tell his mom why he had thrown an inopportune sleepover without her permission.

"Do you think you're ever gonna go back? I mean, obviously you can stay here as long as you want, but they  _ are _ your parents, Luke," said Alex, not looking up from his shoes.

"Absolutely not. I- I mean, maybe… No, no they'll never let me come back even if I tried."

"They're your parents, they'd—"

"Would they? If you're so sure of that, maybe take your own advice sometime, Alex."

Alex stood up abruptly, his stool knocking backwards, hitting the wall of the garage with a bang that made Luke jump.

"S-sorry, bro, I didn't mean it," Luke tried to take a step over to him, but was stopped by the opening of the garage doors.

"Alright, Sunset Curve, who's ready to hear the most rockin' Reggie Peters original ever!" Reggie burst into the rehearsal space, shadowed by a Bobby who seemed as if he'd already heard this Reggie Peters original at least three times on the way to Alex's place, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Alex huffed, collecting his stool and trying not to look at Luke, who was trying exceedingly hard to look at him. There was something about the way Luke looked at people that was somehow both magnetic and halting; he made you feel like you were everything in the moment, but being everything was overwhelming. Sometimes, Alex just needed to be one thing; drummer, he could be that right now. Later, he could try to be everything again.

***********

By the time lunch came, Alex had forgotten his anger, and was simply starving for the deep dish pizza Reggie ordered for them. There was nothing like wailing on the drums to make Alex feel better; whether it was a shitty grade on a test, Beth's friends taking over his room for a slumber party, or an off comment from his dad about his choice of clothes that day, his sticks always served him well.

The boys spread out around the garage, Bobby perched on the edge of the loft space, Reggie on the coffee table, and Luke and Alex on the opposite ends of the couch, the pizza box resting on the cushion between them. Reggie reached over a liter of Pepsi to grab at the last slice. Normally, Luke would have snagged it away for himself, but seeing as Reggie's most rockin' song ever got voted down 3 to 1, they all figured he deserved it.

"Okay," Bobby took his final bite and let the paper plate float to the floor below him, "so, you're just not gonna tell us what happened before Reggie and I got here?"

Alex, not knowing what to say, started limply hitting his knuckles together in his lap, his eyes at first looking nowhere in particular, then drifting to his left, locking with Luke's. Everything. 

"I left my folks. I'm staying here now," he answered to Alex, even though Bobby had asked the question.

"Shit, dude," Reggie climbed over the table and replaced the pizza box with himself, making it much easier for Alex to break away from Luke's stare, "I'm sorry, buddy." 

"You know what?" Luke jumped up from the couch and onto the coffee table, poised for a very Luke-esque speech, "I'm happy it happened, and you know why?"

"Because now you don't have to take those weird vitamins your mom put you on?" Reggie asked.

"Because this is what rock-and-roll is about, guys! It's about going your own way, not caring what society thinks of you, sticking it to the man. Are you feeling me?"

The rest of the band was quiet.

"Come on guys, you know I'm right. Parents..." he paused, looking again at Alex, whose eyes refused to rest anywhere other than Luke's forehead, " _ my  _ parents weren't ready to have a son who loves music like I do. They thought it was a bad idea, that their son should be something more substantial, like an accountant or something. They just couldn't get that this right here is what I'm meant to do. I was born to be a musician, nothing can change the fact. That- that's why I had to leave. So I- so  _ we _ can prove them wrong."

He pulled Reggie off the couch by his jacket front, whistled Bobby down from the ledge, and reached out a hand to Alex, who was so deep in thought that he didn't notice.

"Come on, Mercer."

Coming to, Alex looked up at his best friend and saw something in him that he hadn't seen since their gig at the Coconut Teaszer almost got cancelled; he saw Luke pleading with him. He took his hand, but instead of pulling him straight up, Luke held his gaze, silently begging forgiveness. After what seemed like a small eternity spent sitting in Luke Patterson's stare, Alex nodded at him and was pulled to his feet. The table gave Luke six inches on Alex, a direct reverse of their usual height difference, which seemed to fit the moment. Alex felt small next to him. Luke had faced what Alex feared most, and yet here he was, smiling down at him like his whole world hadn't been lost, like he hadn't just given up the one love that was supposed to be a guarantee in life. For a moment, Alex thought that perhaps this meant he could do the same, that he could be just as brave as Luke. But then he remembered his mom's face when Luke followed him down the stairs that morning, and thought it was better that his Joey Lawrence poster remained behind his t-shirts.

*********

It was evening, and Luke and Alex were still held up in the garage, even though Reggie and Bobby had left hours before. It wasn't abnormal for just the two of them to hang out, Bobby was a bit of a loner when they weren't playing, and Reggie lived a lot further away from the others, but something still felt a bit off. Luke hadn't stopped scribbling in his journal and strumming his six string for the past two hours, and Alex hadn't stopped thinking over all the ways Luke living there could go wrong.

First of all, Alex's parents would definitely call Luke's if they figured out he ran away, so they had to keep them from knowing. That would be enough of a death sentence by itself, if it weren't for everything else Alex had come up with for his infinitely long list of fuck-ups that could occur. What if Luke's parents called the cops? What if Beth figured them out and told their mom? What if they couldn't even play gigs if Luke's a missing kid? For all these questions, Luke's response was always "relax, it'll all be fine." Alex doubted he'd have the same attitude if he knew Alex's biggest worry about a life spent with Luke Patterson in his garage… 

Alex couldn't remember when he fell in love with Luke, but he did know that it was a hard fall, likely to leave bruises when he hit the ground. He thought it'd be impossible to keep playing in the band with him, but quickly realized that his best friend Luke was exactly the same as dreamy, makes-you-feel-like-everything Luke, and that being with him wasn't that much more difficult than before he realized how madly in love he was. Maybe this was an indication that love exists even when we aren't aware of it, that love itself is easy, understanding it is confusing, but Alex wasn't so convinced. After all, Luke's touchiness sometimes made Alex tense up, and he found himself sleepless at least once a week over what the hell Luke meant in the way he looked at him. Maybe it was the music that made things easier. Instead of fighting off the insufferable urge to tell Luke how he felt, Alex told the drums. Sometimes, he had to stop himself from imagining that Luke was doing the same thing, singing the words he wanted to tell Alex to a cramped club full of the type of girls Reggie liked to bring backstage; girls Alex knew Luke would choose over him any day.

"Alex?" Luke had finally set down his guitar and journal, flexing his hands to shake off the cramping as he approached him.

"Yeah?"

"Do you wanna go do somethin'? We can go see a movie."

"Luke, I'm not mad at you," Alex plopped down on the couch, patting the cushion next to him. As much as he'd love to spend 90 minutes in a theater next to Luke, he figured the night after running away from home was not an ideal time for cinema. 

"Then why you got the long face?" Luke took the cushion Alex had offered, crossed his arms, and laid back with his feet in the air and head on Alex's knee, something that should translate to "oh, this guy is super chill and affectionate with his friends," but Alex knew questions about it would haunt him later that night. Looking down at his grinning mug, Alex instinctively swiped a stray hair out of Luke's face. Realizing himself, he coughed and looked away.

"I'm just thinking about what we're supposed to do next."

"Never had a runaway in your garage before, eh?" laughed Luke, reaching up and shaking Alex's hair out of place. 

"He's done the same thing to Reggie a thousand times," Alex thought "stop overthinking." 

"Listen, I'm gonna be just fine. I'm perfectly comfortable on this couch, and if your folks ever get suspicious, I can just crash at Reggie's for a bit," he added, "but I think I prefer this place."

Alex didn't say anything, but he knew Luke could see behind his eyes. He had a way of doing that. Luke swiveled to sit up straight, placing a comforting hand on Alex's back. He didn't tense.

"You know, just because me telling my parents who I am didn't go well, doesn't mean it won't for you. You've got some awesome folks, they'll—"

"Where do you think you're going dressed like a fairy, Alex?"

"What—"

"When are you bringing home a nice girlfriend, Alex? If you act more manly, maybe people wouldn't think such awful things about you, Alex."

"I—"

"Luke, I'm not going to say anything about how you should have been grateful for your parents, I'm not. I understand why you ran away. But at least you can say that your parents never cared that you were hanging out with me."

"Of course they didn't care, they loved you."

"Yeah well, what do you think it says about  _ my _ parents that I came out to yours before them?"

It seemed for a moment that the great Luke Patterson had finally run out of words; he just sat there, looking at a boy who refused to look back at him, for fear of showing his pooling tears. He stood and, suddenly determined, snagged his journal to begin scribbling out whatever was crowding his mind.

"Whatcha writing? A ballad about a stupid blond kid too scared to tell his parents he's exactly the thing they're afraid of?"

"Nope, it's about the raddest blond kid I know," he ruffled Alex's hair, a habit seeming to form, "who's miles above anybody who doesn't think he's awesome just the way he is."

Returning to his original position— legs across the couch, head in Alex's lap— he tilted his journal, letting Alex glimpse the song he'd been constructing for the past two hours.

"It's called 'Bright.'" 


	2. Mrs. Mercer

**January 10th, 2020**

They could be seen. In the chaos of students chattering about the performance, bumping into one another to get to class, Luke, Alex, and Reggie poofed into a mostly empty hallway off of the gym, still energized from their first performance in 25 years. Alex was especially shaken; he never expected to hear that song again, let alone as a duet between Luke and someone they'd just met. Not that it wasn't incredible, Julie's voice was insane, and Luke was, well, Luke.

"That was sick!" Reggie cheered, clapping his bandmates on the back, "Man, I can't believe I remembered that one, when was the last time we did it?"

"Safari Sam’s," Alex answered a bit too quickly. He had already been replaying the gig in his mind. Luke's smile, which had been blazing since they got off stage, faltered. He looked up at Alex, somehow defiant and apologetic all at once.

"It was a good song for Julie," he said, seemingly to both the others and himself. There was a moment when no one spoke, the only sounds were coming from kids the next hall over and Alex's knuckles knocking into the sides of his legs.

"Uh, yeah- yeah it was," Reggie placed himself between the others, shaking their shoulders, "but I think the real success was us, huh? 25 years of rust- gone!" He whooped and flapped out both of his hands, prompting Luke and Alex to low five him.

And just like that, the awkward was gone; they were laughing again, celebrating just like they had after every Sunset Curve show together. Reggie had a way with getting his two best friends back to their roots. They were all friends after all, and nothing could change that.

*******

"Ok, I'm sorry, alright? I just… I gotta go clear my head,"

After a little struggle with the door, Alex was gone, leaving Luke and Reggie alone in the garage.

"You think he's still mad you gave Julie your song?" Reggie asked quietly, like volume was what made it a touchy question.

"If he is, he's being ridiculous," Luke huffed, grabbing for his journal and heading over to the piano, "I mean, we all performed it together in Sunset Curve, how was this any different?"

"Okay, okay," Reggie put his hands up, "let's think about this from our boy Alex's perspective. You write him a song. It's a beautiful song, we sing it together as a band. It rocks hard. But then, tragically, you break up, and the song goes to the back of your journal, never performed again. That is, until we  _ die _ and you hand off the song to the first cute girl who needs help getting back into her music program. Now, can you see why Alex might feel a bit off about the whole thing?"

Not knowing what to say, Luke returned to the journal, but when nothing came to him, he grunted, throwing the pen down. Reggie, avoiding the pen treatment, wandered away from the piano and poofed out. Before Luke even had time to look up, Reggie was back by his side, excitedly holding a thick pile of papers, some embellished with glitter and other girl stuff.

"Look what I can do now!"

*******

**December 20th, 1994**

With Bobby out of town for Christmas at his grandma's, Luke, Alex, and Reggie gathered in Alex's bedroom to play Super Mario Kart. Alex was the only one of the three with his own console, and yet was losing painfully; Reggie, playing as Bowser, was absolutely kicking his Toad's ass. Luke's laugh rang out from his spot on the blow up chair every time Alex was struck with another fireball, making it even more difficult for him to climb beyond 7th place.

"Booyah!" Reggie flopped back onto the bed, pumping his fists in celebration, "Eat that, Mercer."

"Haha yeah, Alex can't play video games. Now, would you please hop off my bed before you spill the popcorn?"

"Oh, you mean like this?" Reggie reached towards the overflowing bowl and froze with his fingers inches away from toppling it, "oooooohhhhh." 

"You taunting me, cowboy?" Alex laughed as he grabbed the heels of Reggie's black boots and yanked him onto the floor, overtaking the free spot on the comforter and placing the bowl in his lap, his own form of winning.

"Hey, give me some of that," Luke hopped over Reggie and bounced onto the edge of the bed, grabbing a handful of popcorn as he settled, using Alex's shoulder as a back rest. In the same way that Alex could never stop thinking, it seemed that Luke could never stop moving. Whether it was pacing the studio while he scribbled in his journal or jumping up to hit any and all door frames he could reach, Luke was constantly in motion. When they first met, Alex thought the kid was just a showoff; he climbed the monkey bars on the wrong side at recess and took his scoldings for not staying in his seat with a smirk on his face that somehow felt both like a hug and a middle finger. Luke was always ten things at once, but they never felt incoherent. Every part of him clicked with the others to form the truest human being one could hope to meet. And that human being had been living in Alex's garage for the past 4 days.

"Alexander, what on Earth was that noise?" Alex's mom called from downstairs.

"Nothing, mom!" Alex called back. He handed the bowl to Luke, and quickly started gathering all the crushed soda cans, popcorn kernels, and scattered game cartridges that had accumulated on the floor.

"Need a hand?" Luke asked, handing the bowl off to Reggie, who had not moved from his place on the floor.

"Yeah, uh, just throw everything in there," he pointed to his open closet, "not the food, though."

The two of them rushed to conceal any evidence of teenage boydom that they could, just in time for Mrs. Mercer's expected entrance. She did not bother to knock.

"Whatcha up to, guys?" Mrs. Mercer wore a gray pencil skirt with a matching blazer, an outfit that didn't seem to fit Alex's poster-lined walls and shelves stuffed with beanie babies. She made her way into the room, heels sinking into the shag carpet, looking for something. She was always looking for something. 

"Any plans for the holiday, you two?" she asked, straightening the curtains on the window.

"Not us, the Peters aren't too big on family things," Reggie answered, "it'll probably just be a few presents Christmas morning."

"Okay… Well I'm sure that will be nice," noticeably uncomfortable, Mrs. Mercer coughed and turned her attention to Luke, who was as still as ever, "How about you, Luke?"

"Oh, ya know, ma'am, the typical church service and Christmas ham, nothing too special."

"How sweet," she smiled at him, happy to receive a non depressing answer from one of her son's musician friends, "Good old Alex here is elated to be spending Christmas Eve dinner with his great aunt, aren't you, Alex?" She smiled and smoothed out her son's hair, teasing him, "I know you just  _ love _ the tuxedo she's putting you in this year."

"Tuxedo?" Reggie perked up at the word, ready to make fun of whatever Alex's elderly aunt was forcing onto him.

"Mom, please—"

"Does it have tails?" Luke jumped in, ruffling Alex's hair, making him laugh and push him away. Mrs. Mercer's shoulders tightened for a moment, but then her son grinned up at her.

"Nope, but it is tacky."

"Well, I think I speak for the whole band when I say we'd love to see our little drummer boy in his Christmas best, Mrs. Mercer" Reggie said, feeling once again the high of his racing win.

"Okay, neither of you are seeing that," Alex insisted, "I'll only be in it for six hours at Aunt Marie's, then it is being burned."

"I wanted to talk to you about that," Mrs. Mercer continued to move about the room, collecting water cups that had been left on the desk and extra blankets cast out on the floor, "I know you're not a little kid anymore, and I know there's a thousand places you'd rather be than your aunt's cheesy dress party. So, I will wager you a deal."

"Okay..."

"If you agree to stay through dinner and let me and your father know where you'll be, we will let you duck out early."

Now this was a shock. Alex's parents had always been, as Reggie once put it "more controlling than a pair of drill sergeants." Alex had always suspected the only reason they hosted band practice was because they needed Alex as close to their corrective hands as possible, and now they were letting him off on Christmas Eve of all nights.

"Excuse me?" came a voice from the doorway; it was Beth, looking as annoyed as ever, "and how is that fair?"

"Hey, Beth," Reggie waved to Alex's younger sister, something neither of the Mercer kids appreciated very much, "how's it hangin'?"

"Why does Alex get to leave early?"

"Because me and your father feel it's perfectly appropriate for a 17-year-old to make his own  _ responsible _ decisions," Mrs. Mercer turned to her daughter, hands on hips, "I'm sorry to inform you that a 15-year-old, not particularly known for making responsible decisions, isn't getting a get out of jail free card this year."

Beth opened her mouth to rebute, but her eyes met Alex's, and they told her to hold back. Instead, she coughed and stomped down the hall, her heavy platform shoes mimicking an earthquake. Mrs. Mercer made to follow her daughter, but stopped halfway out,

"I'm sorry you had to be here for that, boys," she apologized to her hand on the door frame, "you're welcome to come by here Christmas Eve if that's what Alex wants."

"Uh, thanks Mrs. M, that means a lot," said Luke.

She looked back at the three boys, then took a cursory glance about the room, "Alex?"

"Yeah, mom?"

"I better not find any trash in your closet."

She left without closing the door, leaving a giggling Reggie, smirking Luke, and blushing Alex completely exposed.

******

**June 15th, 1993**

"Oh come on, Alex, let the girls have their fun," Mrs. Mercer smoothed down her son's hair, a habit of her's, "you can stay in her room, or the garage if you want. Wanna have your own sleepover?"

"No, I- I just don't see why I can't have boundaries in this house. That's  _ my  _ room!"

" _ Enough, Alexander _ " 

Alex never did well when his full name was said; he knew there was no use arguing when his room was already full of eight 14-year-old girls. He just prayed they'd stick to the TV for entertainment and stay out of his things.

******

"Jeez, how many snapbacks can one kid own?" joked Elise, pulling out cap after cap from Alex's closet. Beth, who had claimed the head of the bed, laughed along as she twisted her blonde hair into two french braids.

"Beth, your brother has more star stickers than I do," Jess pointed up at the popcorn ceiling, littered with different constellations and hanging planets.

"He likes stars," said Beth, tying off her last braid, "and hats."

"Do you ever hang out with him and his band when they're here?" asked Elise, now wearing a purple Aspen sweatshirt she pulled out the closet.

"Sometimes," she slid off the bed and made her way to the closet, stepping over piles of Alex's stuff that had been pulled out. She knew she'd have to be the one to clean it up, unless she wanted to risk losing her chauffeur for a month, "it's not as fun as it sounds, though."

Squatting down next to Elise, Beth started pushing through the t-shirts herself. Alex's closet had way more clothes than her's, but whereas she had a large collection of plaids and blacks, his space was crowded with an eclectic assortment of pastels and band shirts. Feeling around the floor, her hands rested on a mid-sized plastic box with a handle on top. She pulled it into her lap, turning her back towards the rest of the group as they took turns throwing beanie babies into Alex's upturned hat collection. She recognized the box as a play make-up set she had had when she was younger, maybe 9, but she could have sworn they'd dumped it in a garage sale ages ago. Nevertheless, there it was behind her big brother's sneakers. Turning the heart shaped latch, Beth discovered that where her cheap glitter pink lip gloss had been, there was now an assortment of jewelry she'd never seen before. A gold chain, two silver rings, a blue woven bracelet with the plastic letters of his name, and a single bent paperclip with a star shaped charm strung onto it. Feeling she had seen something she shouldn't have, she quietly shut the lid and stuffed the box back in its original spot.


	3. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally...

**December 24th, 1994**

"Mercers, downstairs now!" Mr. Mercer called from the foyer, "Aunt Marie is expecting you posed on her staircase in thirty minutes."

Alex stood in front of his bathroom mirror combing his hair back slick. The powder blue tux Aunt Marie had requested from him was ill-fitting, with pant legs long enough to cuff and shoulder pads hanging an inch off from where they should have been. He wasn't a big fan of the look, but it was what was asked of him, and he could accept that, especially with the knowledge that he'd be back at home and out of it all in less than 3 hours. He met Beth, now in a dress equally painful to the eyes, at the top of the stairs, exchanged a knowing Mercer kid glance, and headed out to his car.

Following his parents', Alex was careful with his movements, a product of feeling overly seen and incredibly vulnerable in the driver's seat. He leaned forward over the wheel, tapping in time with the radio.

"So where are you going after you abandon me?" Beth asked, folding her arms over her lacey collar.

"First of all, not abandoning you, Claire will be there—"

"Claire is literally the last person I wanna see."

"Okay then sure, say I'm abandoning you, whatever," he reached over and turned up the radio,

"Luke and Reg are coming over."

"So Reggie is coming over, then?"

"I- what?"

"Alex, you're not as discreet as you- RED LIGHT!"

Alex slammed the breaks just in time. His mom was definitely taking note of it through the rearview.

"How- how did you know about that?"

"Heard him the first night at your window, plus always being over before 10:00am was obviously gonna be suspicious for Luke. Don't worry, mom and dad are clueless."

At the change of the light, Alex rolled forward, now hitting his palms on the wheel with no mind for the beat of the music. The song finished, he couldn't tell you what it had been, and was replaced with Christmas carols. Beth shut it off.

"You can't, you can't tell them."

"I won't."

"Because if you do, they- they'll try and call Luke's parent,"

"I won't tell—"

"We're already at risk having him here in case Luke's folks call us,"

"Luke's parents don't even know mom and dad."

"They could figure it out. Or mom and dad could figure it all out first and then—"

"And then, what? You'll get a slap on the wrist and they'll send him home."

"No, no because this'll be just more shit on their list, one more thing they can hold over me."

"They're not holding anything over you, asshole! You're the good kid; look who's getting to leave tonight."

"Oh come on, Beth, you know why they want me to leave."

"No, actually, I really don't."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure you'll figure it out."

They drove on in silence for a bit, then Alex turned the stereo up to ten.

******

Great Aunt Marie's house always used to make Alex think of Daddy Warbucks's mansion from  _ Annie— _ partly because her ex-husband had a shiny bald head and heavy eyebrows— but tonight, the only comparison that came to mind was the O'Hara home in  _ Gone with the Wind; _ the place reeked of pretension, and he found himself wishing it'd be destroyed in 3 hours. He gently parked the car behind his dad and stepped out, smoothing his hair backwards and rerolling the sleeves of his jacket as he followed the rest of the family up the way. As soon as Mr. Mercer opened the front door, Alex and Beth were rushed in with the rest of the kids, placed in height order on the grand staircase, and posed for a picture. Aunt Marie directed from her armchair;

"Alexander! Straighten that tie of yours."

A few of the cousins snickered. It was going to be a long night, even with the promise of escape to his two best friends at the end of it.

******

"I'm telling you Luke, if we just recorded a couple of Christmas songs, we'd already be chart-toppers," Reggie took the last bite of his third brownie, laying back onto the couch. Alone in the studio, Luke and Reggie had been working through a few song ideas, but nothing was clicking. In a strange turn of events, Luke could not bring himself to focus on music, so they had turned their attention to the desserts Reggie had sneaked out of the house before heading over.

"Not for all the money in the world, Reg," said Luke, "there seriously isn't anything going on at your house tonight?"

"Uh, besides the demon twins yelling at each other while mom orders pizza and dad takes his fourth nap of the day? Nope, can't think of anything," he raised his head and glanced across the room, "does that phone work?"

"Huh? I don't know, never used it."

Reggie rolled off the couch, retrieved a crumbled gum wrapper from his pocket, and swaggered over to the landline hung on the far side of the garage.

"Who you callin'?"

Reggie waved the gum wrapper at Luke, revealing a number scratched into the white side, "Amy Braun, snagged this off her last week. Gonna ask if she wants to hang out tonight."

"And what makes you think she'll see you on Christmas Eve?" Luke laughed and picked up a candy cane.

"She's Jewish," Reggie lifted the phone off the receiver and began punching in the digits, "you really don't want me here tonight, do ya?"

"What makes you say that?" asked Luke, crunching peppermint while he bounced over to listen to the call.

Reggie cocked an eyebrow at Luke and smirked, ruffling his friend's hair as he greeted Amy on the line.

******

They were already onto the dessert course, and Alex had yet to speak for all of dinner, a definite win. The table was comically long, with all of the older children on one side, the adults on the other, and Great Aunt Marie switching between the two heads in order to speak to both age groups. She was a relatively tall, full-bodied woman, with perfectly manicured hands and a poor dye job. Despite commanding all her nieces and nephews to dress blindingly blue, her dress was a modest black with thin gold accents. At her call, Mrs. Mercer, Aunt Daphne, and Cousin June began placing a slice of dark chocolate cake in front of everyone at the table, while Aunt Marie made her way to the kid's side, ready to dig in to any Mercer relative she pleased. Alex glanced up to see his father leaning closer towards them, listening. The faint sound of knuckles knocking together could only be heard by his son.

"Now Claire, how is that boyfriend of yours? Still Mr. Jack of all trades?" asked Aunt Marie, sipping her champagne.

"Oh yes ma'am," Claire cheesed and tossed her pale blonde hair over her shoulder, "he just got done with football for the year, now he's got spring show to worry about for choir. We're both soloists this year, can you believe it?"

"Ah right, he's the musical type," Aunt Marie nodded to herself, then raised her eyes to a new victim, "kind of like you, Alexander, yes?"

Alex had been mid-sip on his water glass when her icy stare turned to him; he faltered trying to set the glass down, resulting in a splash of water on the front of his tux, "Uh, yeah- I mean, yes, Aunt Marie."

"And how is that?"

Alex stole a look from Beth, who returned him half a headshake, "Oh it's great, we're actually playing Safari Sam’s in January."

Aunt Marie stared back blankly.

"It's um, a music club."

"Oh right, you're in a  _ rock _ band, yes?"

"I also run track at school."

"Hey Alex, does your band ever do covers?"

Alex turned to face his cousin Garrett, a slightly older, much larger member of the family.

"Uh, sometimes. Luke's a great writer, though."

"Ever any Madonna?"

Claire covered her mouth with a napkin, hiding very little of her laugh.

Mr. Mercer appeared behind Alex, clapping his shoulders, "Hey Al, you finish your cake?"

His dad never called him Al.

"Uh," he looked down at his plate, with only one bite having been taken, "yeah, yeah I am."

"Well, I'm sorry to pull Alex away from you, Aunt Marie, but he's actually got another event to get to, tonight. Don't want to keep anyone waiting for him, never looks good."

"Oh, yes," Aunt Marie took a drawn out sip of her champagne, "I'm sure his crowd is expecting him."

Alex pushed out his chair and set off out of the dining room, knocking his knuckles together and watching his shoes.

"Wait," Beth stood and called out, drawing the attention of both sides of the table and stopping Alex in his tracks, "I'm going with you."

"Now why would you want to do that, Elizabeth?" asked Mrs. Mercer in a manufactured tone.

"I think we all know why she would, Beckanne," Aunt Marie drained her glass, "though I think it's best if she stays here and away from  _ all that. _ "

Alex clenched his fists, but was unable to turn and face the table behind him.

"Don't worry, Great Aunt Marie," came Claire's sickly sweet voice, "they haven't found anything on her in a year. Beth is doing just fine."

Alex felt himself turning around. He saw his stride carrying him back to the table, and he heard his voice cursing out Claire and stupid Aunt Marie, but the rest of the room saw only a slight twitch in his shoulder and heard nothing but his quickening breath and palms against thighs.

And then they saw him leave.

******

"Why did I do that, why did I do that, why did I do that," the more Alex asked himself this, the faster he sped home, as if distance would fix everything. But he knew it would only make things worse. He wanted to be the one there for Beth, he wanted to protect her, and yet here he was, putting as many miles in between him and his sister as possible. He figured by now Aunt Marie, and everyone else at the goddamn table for that matter, had moved on in conversation as if nothing had happened, like everything was as the Mercer's wanted it to be: perfect. But they were all still thinking about it, about how Beth is smoking pot and Alex is in a rock band, both sending the family name into the ground. And when mom and dad got home, they wouldn't say a word on it. They never did.

After pulling into the house and running up the driveway, Alex hesitated to open the studio doors. He knew Luke and Reg were in there, but he couldn't bring himself to face anyone. Not Luke. He had no energy for being everything. So instead, he beelined for the house and went straight up to his bedroom, throwing his jacket on the floor and yanking his tie loose as he went. He collapsed on his bed, only then realizing how drenched in sweat he was.

Alex had never taken a cold shower before, and wasn't sure why he chose to that night, but there he was, letting the icy feeling rain down on him. He thought he might cry, but he didn't. He just stood there and shivered, trying to imagine the thoughts running through Beth's head at the moment. He wished she was furious with him for leaving her, but he knew she wasn't. He knew she was the one protecting him, and any off comment Garrett or Claire made about her older brother, she was going to fight it. She always did, ever since he told her he was gay. He loved her for it, and yet he hated that she thought she had to.

"Alex!?" he heard shouted from downstairs— Luke. "Where are you, man?"

"Shit," Alex turned off the shower as he stumbled onto the bath mat, wrapped himself in his towel, and booked it back to his room, the sound of Luke climbing the stairs getting louder and louder.

"Give me a second!" His door banging shut behind him, Alex threw on the first clean t-shirt he grabbed from the closet and pulled on his pajama pants from the night before.

There was a knock on the door, "You good bro?"

The words "don't come in yet!" fumbled out of Alex without reason, for he was completely decent and in desperate need of a hug.

"Do you want me to wait out here or leave?" Luke asked softly, not a tone Alex was particularly used to hearing from him.

"Uh, no—"

"No, you want me to leave or..."

"No, uh, I need you to come in here."

"You sure?"

"—yes"

Luke opened the door with a care reminiscent of Alex's driving, his acoustic clutched in his left hand as a seemingly permanent extension of himself.

"I forgot to get you the leftovers you asked for," Alex spoke to Luke's shoelaces.

Luke laughed; a smaller one than usual, but Alex melted nonetheless. His grip on his knees lessened as Luke joined him, sitting cross legged on top of the unmade comforter and leaning his guitar against the bed frame.

"Was it not good?"

"Understatement."

"I- I'm sorry, Alex," Luke scooted closer, seeking the eyes that were looking anywhere but at him, "Do you wanna talk about it or something?"

"Nah, it's easier not to," he still had yet to look at him, "plus, you don't have the greatest reputation for handling tears well."

He meant that last part as a joke, but it made Luke shift awkwardly on his seat.

"That's not…" Luke trailed, and then shook it off. For a moment, he floated, not wholly there. Alex watched his hand trailing mindlessly towards the neck of the guitar; it moved in an unsteady pattern, drifting in a storm across the bedspread in search of the security blanket that was Luke's guitar. Alex then watched his own hand begin to reach out, stopped only by the invisible wall that he had never been able to knock down.

It was then that Alex became aware of just why he had let Luke in, when only minutes before he had wanted nothing more than to be left alone and numb. Something within him, the something that longed for music, for stars, and for Luke, needed to be everything right then, lest it risk being buried in the dark behind some old sneakers. And so, he finally did meet Luke's eyes, but they were distant and dark, not keen to give anything up until they had sat in his own for a moment. A smile began to peak out from the side of Luke's mouth, and Alex could sense a gentle joy emitting from his friend.

"Do ya wanna have our own little Christmas to forget that one?" Luke asked, reaching up and tossling Alex's damp hair.

"Yeah, sure," Alex turned his whole self towards Luke and criss crossed his legs, "where's Reg?"

"Ditched us for his own special Christmas with Amy Braun," Luke winked at Alex just as Reggie had winked at him earlier and pulled his guitar into his lap. "So, you know the song I showed you the other day?"

Alex forgot how to breathe for half a second, "the one you..."

"Yeah," Luke's smile was once again a coherent contradiction, both shy and insanely confident in one stretch of the lips. He pulled a clean, carefully folded sheet of paper from his pocket and handed it to Alex, who tried really hard to not freeze when their hands brushed, "you sing what's underlined."

Luke looked at Alex, took a deep inhale, and sang directly to a boy who was the most everything he had ever been, "Sometimes I think, I'm fallin' down…"

Alex thought it was incredibly unfair for Luke to be looking at him the way he was; there was so much care in his eyes, so much  _ Luke, _ that he could almost trick himself into thinking this was a love song, that them being alone that night was more than just a happy byproduct of Reggie's incessant need for female attention, but he knew it was a ridiculous notion.

"And when I feel lost in alone, I know that I can make it home…"

Oh, but it all felt so much like home. Christmas Eve dinner was so far away, and Alex and Luke were together, just as they should be. The part of Alex that always fought against being everything, that always managed to tear his gaze away from Luke's for fear of the too muchness of it all, had fallen asleep.

"Together I think that we can make it. Come on let's run…"

Okay, that one did it. Alex's was losing feeling in his fingers and toes. The only sensations he managed to pay attention to were those that revolved around his new world; the one manifesting in the space between the two boys, where air filled with song and stars. Luke was so beautiful when he sang. Luke was so beautiful.

"times that I doubted myself, I felt like I needed some help…"

And now Alex was singing to Luke, which was incredibly surreal.

"Stuck in my head with nothing left…"

He longed to know what Luke could have been thinking as he sat there, leaning into the duet. He liked to imagine he too was seeing stars, that his fingers were numb, but he knew this could not be true. Luke was Luke, and his playing didn't falter once.

"And rise through the night, you and I…"

Two voices as one, a sound all their own.

"We will fight to shine together…"

They were everything, it was them.

"Bright forever…"

Alex, coming down to Earth, was dreading the end of the song. The end of the moment, his imaginings. The end. 

"And rise…"

Luke was still in it, not letting go. He never did. Luke  _ was _ the music.

"We will fight…"

Alex told his secret goodbyes to their little universe.

"Bright forever."

He relished that last note, drinking it in, and finally broke eye contact.

"That was—"

Suddenly, his face was being pulled forward, and Luke Patterson was kissing Alex Mercer.


	4. New Discoveries, New Loves, and New Movies

**January 10th, 2020**

"Wait wait wait, bro, you died in '95? Dude, you were probably just learning how to read when I croaked!" Willie was so invigorating. Alex felt incredibly lucky to have been plowed down by someone who knew so much about ghosting and the modern world, the fact that he was insanely cute was just a very important side bonus— a side bonus that kept Alex following the skater for what felt like forever. They finally slowed to a stop in front of a white, vintage looking building with the name "Amoeba Music" written in neon lights above the entrance.

"What's this?"

"You said you were in a band, right?" Willie threw an arm over Alex's shoulder and grinned up at him, "don't you wanna know what's been happening for the past 25 years?"

*****

As they browsed the endless rows of CDs, vinyls, and movies, Alex was helplessly entranced by Willie, soaking in everything he had to say about the last 25 years of music, internet, and presidents (that one was a real doozy) he had missed. Suddenly, a small section of records caught Alex's eye and released him from Willie's spell. Bending over the label, he could see he had read it correctly; "LGBTQ+ Artists." As he began dreamily thumbing through the records, Willie quietly came up behind him.

"W- What's the Q+ mean?" he asked softly.

"Oh, it stands for queer," Alex winced, brushed with memories he'd long wished would fade away. Willie, probably sensing this, continued, "but it's different nowadays. We took back the word and made it our own. For some people it's a good label because it's inclusive of lots of identities beyond gay and straight or male and female, but it's also like an umbrella term for anyone who is—"

"Like me?"

Willie looked down at Alex and nodded, smiling a bit more timidly than he had when he first plowed Alex down not two hours earlier.

"And me."

Standing, Alex took a wide look around the shop.

"And, and how do most people feel about, about us."

"Well, there's always gonna be a few assholes, but things have really come a long way, especially in a city like this. They're all pretty woke, nowadays. Gay marriage was legalized nationally five years ago."

"What does woke mean?"

"What does- Alex," Willie laughed and punched Alex's shoulder, "did ya hear what I just said, bro?"

He had heard, but was still trying to swallow it all. Everything about this future was so beautiful to Alex. He couldn't help but wish he had lived to see it.

*****

**December 24th, 1994**

Alex's mind was racing with questions about what this could all mean, but nothing about Luke was answering any of them. If at one moment he pulled away to ask what the fuck was going on, the feeling of Luke’s hands in his hair and around his waist stole away any of the necessary words. In the briefest moment of clarity, he managed to break away, to sit back and look at a boy who had lived many days and nights in Alex’s brain as a friend, a bandmate, an unattainable dream, but was now someone who had sat on his bed, sung him a song, and kissed him on Christmas Eve, no mistletoe required.

“You don’t know how hard it is not to kiss you,” Luke smiled, his eyes bright as he gazed light beams at Alex, who’s breath had stopped in his chest, blocked by the weight of every moment Alex wished Luke  _ had  _ kissed him.

“I- I thought you—“

“I did too, but here we are,” he hugged his legs to his chest, resting his chin on his knee, continuing to look up at Alex as if he were some kind of miracle. Everything.

“So, are you…?”

“Always the questions with you,” Luke laughed, shook Alex’s hair, and swung himself off the bed. Reaching out a hand, he asked “now, how do you feel about some ice cream? My treat.”

It’s strange to have one’s personal fairytales realized, especially so suddenly and casually. Everything was blurring, and the more Alex tried to clear uncertainties from his head, the more everything jumbled. What did ice cream even mean at a moment like this? Were they going on a date? Were they dating? How would that affect the band? Was Luke just trying to cheer him up? Why would he think a makeout sesh would be the best condolence? Would they do it again sometime? God, Alex really hoped they would.

“Uh, sure,” he took his hand, and was led out the door. When they reached the foyer, Luke spun him around and gave him one more smiling kiss against the front door, warming Alex’s already red cheeks and provoking the swarm of butterflies in his stomach. Pulling back, he gave him two playful pats on the side of his face.

“Just know you’re driving, blondie.”

******

For the entirety of the drive down to the only ice cream joint open on Christmas Eve, Luke talked enough for the both of them. He talked about the set for their next gig, and he talked about Alex's eyes; he talked about a new riff he was practicing, and he talked about the way Alex "did that cute little cough" when he was flustered. He talked about all these things with a continuous, unwavering passion, reflecting on Alex and music with an identical strength of tone and joy of countenance, his eyes never dimming from the blinding gleam they were always set at when he was truly in his own world.

They arrived at the ice cream shop, parked the car, and met one another on the sidewalk. Alex, his hands shoved impossibly deep in the pockets of his jean jacket, stood stiff on his pajama clad legs.

"Is- is this a date?" he whispered.

"Do you want it to be?"

Alex couldn't help but smile, but as he watched other couples and families walking by them, he found himself uneasy, unsure. Nevertheless, he nodded, and Luke began to lead the way down to the shop on the corner.

Under the gaze of all those around them, Alex felt himself growing self-conscious; he could feel them staring at his mismatched house shoes, his still damp hair, and his not-so-winter-friendly flannel pants. It was ridiculous really for them to be out like this, but when he turned to look at the confident boy next to him, it all melted away. That is, until Luke's hand reached out to hold his.

Covering his recoil at the feeling of Luke's little finger brushing against his own, Alex reached up to smooth down his hair, eyes darting around and feet carrying him away from the one person he wished  _ would  _ hold his hand, kiss him on the cheek, and wrap his arm around his waist on the street. But he just  _ couldn't _ . He looked at Luke and saw a boy who was both confused and understanding, both a dream and a reality, and he knew that whatever this was, it would be the most difficult easy decision either of them could make. He rejoined Luke's side, clapped his back, and pushed him ahead as they raced to the entrance, a boyish joy flooding out the uncertainties of this interesting little relationship they now had.

******

The lone teenager working the counter took their orders with a genuine smile, ringing up the strawberry milkshake and triple scoop of salted caramel quickly and without a strange look at Alex's lack of proper footwear. In such an empty shop, the two boys felt safe, side by side in their corner booth; Alex's voice remained pillow soft, however, partly because he shuttered at even the possibility of being overheard and partly because something in him understood the delicacy of what was occurring and wished not to break it.

"I just don't understand why you didn't tell me," Alex stirred his shake with the straw, looking at Luke, "I mean, you had to know that I liked you."

"Uh, no, I did not know that," Luke responded with his spoon hanging from the corner of his mouth, a mess, "but the looks you gave me when I first showed you our song were encouraging."

"And you didn't tell me because…"

Luke took a heaping, thoughtful spoonful of ice cream, pulling a face that somehow made Alex think of Daffy Duck,

"I don't think I really understood what I was feeling, ya know? It's been weird for me ever since you came out to all of us 'cause the way you put it, saying the way we all felt about girls was the way you felt about guys. I don't know, I just- I just always kinda felt the same way with girls and guys, but I never really felt like I needed to say anything."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I thought I wouldn't have to really deal with it, ya know, with the band 'n all that. And then…"

"Then?"

"Then I realized that constantly obsessing over the way your best friend looked at you that day probably wasn't normal."

"Wow, okay," Alex laughed in a way he thought was awkward, but made Luke melt, "that makes two of us."

They beamed at each other, giggling like school girls at their shared hopelessness. Alex took another sip of his milkshake, but was physically unable to look away from the beautiful boy next to him.

"So, you're bisexual, then?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know."

"I mean I don't know," he lowered his voice, "I know I like you, Alex, a lot. Isn't that enough?"

Yes, yes it was. Luke returned his attention to the now half eaten mound of ice cream, not seeing Alex's quick glance around the shop. Not a soul in sight, not a soul but the same teenager who had served them, busy cleaning scoops. Alex locked eyes with her for a moment and she, looking back with the same genuine smile she had before, nodded before returning to her work. He felt easy turning back to his shake, a smile creeping over his lips as his hand slid across the seat cushion. He extended his little finger and wrapped it around Luke's. He was happy and, for a moment, free.

*****

**January 15th, 2020**

With Julie and her family out to dinner, the boys had the family room to themselves and, using Reggie's new found mastery of modern technology, were making their way through all the movies Julie suggested. They had already binged the Harry Potter series and were now browsing Netflix, piled close together on the couch and disagreeing endlessly on what to watch next.

"No, Reg, we're not watching  _ Hook _ ," Luke tore the remote from Reggie's grasp and knocked him in the back of the head, "we're doing  _ The Irishman _ , it's  Scorsese."

"But Hook's a classic!" Reggie whined.

Alex reached under Luke's arm and snagged the remote off him, "Actually, we're doing a  _ new _ movie that's  _ not _ three hours long, thank you very much."

"Ugh," Luke crossed his arms, smirking up at Alex in the way he always did, "you're no fun." Usually, a look like that would be the end of Alex; before they were together he'd lose any ability to speak, while they were dating he lost the  _ need _ to speak, and after, well, Alex had trouble with those looks. But now, it wasn't so bad. He had Willie, after all. Well, he didn't  _ have _ him, but he was there, and Alex was pretty sure Willie taking him to the beach and empty celebrity pools every day was a sign that maybe, just maybe, there was some kind of magic between them. Sure, Luke would always be Luke, but Willie was new; he was cool, funny, passionate, and really, really cute.

"Hey, how about that one? It's literally got your name written all over it," Luke pointed towards the screen at the icon for a movie called  _ Alex Strangelove. _

"Sounds like a dumb romcom, to me," Reggie huffed, mirroring Luke's crossed arms and slouching posture, "I'm in."

"Alright, 2018 romcom named after me it is," Alex selected the movie, failing to read the description as he settled into his seat.

******

Alex couldn't decide if he was happy with or mortified by their choice. He was loving it, but there was definitely something awkward about watching a movie about coming to terms with your sexuality cuddled up next to one of the guys that made you realize you were gay in the first place. Alex looked over to see Reggie visibly tearing up, retreating behind a blanket, and Luke smiling, completely sucked into the moment. Obviously, Alex was the only one who felt weird about the situation. As he returned his attention to the screen, that familiar feeling struck him deep, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Luke looking up at him.

"I like this movie," he whispered before turning back to the screen, as if he hadn't just ruined any chance Alex had of paying attention to the remaining half. It turns out, having a cute new skater boy to think about didn't drown out Luke's everything. He probably should have expected this; it's not like their breakup ever succeeded in letting Alex move on. He'd spent the entirety of the no talking stage curled up in bed listening to mixtapes Luke had made for him, and even though the days leading up to their death felt normal enough, there were always moments that would eat at him, like when Luke found an innocent way to touch him or the little glances during gigs that made his head spin. It was almost better when Alex saw Luke with someone else, because then moving on felt more real. Where they had been, where maybe they still were, it was a painful in-between, no longer together, but stuck next to each other on the pendulum swinging between friendship and something more. It sucked.

"Oh god," Reggie peeped from behind his quilted shield, "what's Alex gonna do?"

"I don't know," Luke nudged the red faced blond to his right, "what is Alex gonna do?"


	5. The Rings

**December 25th, 1994**

There was a loud knock on the door.

"Alex it's Christmas!" Beth shouted from the hall, "Let me in before I bust through myself!"

Alex, still glazed with his dreams of Luke as prince charming and Great Aunt Marie as a wicked witch, rolled out of bed and sludged to the door. Upon opening it and seeing his sister, the regret and anger from last night's dinner flooded back, wiping away any sleep that remained.

"Beth I—"

"Had a lot of fun last night?" she raised her eyebrows, grinning over his shoulder. Alex turned around to see Luke propped up on the blow up chair, watching them with a mischievous smile on his face, a stuffed bear curled up next to him.

"Oh you know it, Beth!"

"Uh, no" Alex coughed and staggered back to let Beth in, "we didn't- it's not what you think."

"Of course not," Luke threw the bear at Alex, hitting him square in the head, "I'm a very classy guy."

"Okay we don't need to talk about this anymore," Alex blushed, sitting back on the bed, "Beth, are you good? I mean, I- I'm really sorry about—"

"Alex, it wasn't your choice to leave, remember? And besides, I can handle myself."

"But I should have tried harder, I- I'm supposed to be the big brother."

"We're supposed to be a lot of things, but I don't think either of us really live up to that, do you?"

Alex looked over at Luke, who winked, "Touché."

"Anyway," Beth plopped down next to her brother, pulling a small box out of her hoodie pocket, "I wanted to give you this now, rather than later. It's not exactly parent-safe."

Alex took the present from her hands, "Beth, you didn't have to."

"No I didn't. I guess that makes me the world's best sister, doesn't it Luke?"

"Definitely," Luke laughed, jumping up next to Alex and wrapping their arms together, "Whatcha get?"

Alex opened the little white box to reveal a beaded rainbow bracelet threaded with white letter blocks, spelling out "Alex" in tiny print.

"Another for your collection," Beth said, "I hope it's not too much."

"No, it's not," Alex smiled down at the bracelet and pulled it onto his wrist, "I love it."

Beth leaned across her brother towards Luke, "Guessing I didn't beat your gift?"

Luke stage whispered back to her, "Not even close."

"Yeah, okay," Alex slid off the bed and opened the closet, shaking his head, "I'm not sure how I feel about this new dynamic you two have going on here."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it," Beth hopped off the bed and headed for the door, "Mom and Dad want you down in about an hour. Luke can come too, if he can sneak around to the front door."

"You underestimate me, Lizzie."

Reaching behind his shoes, Alex pulled out a curious pink plastic box which Luke had never seen before. He watched over Alex's shoulder as he carefully opened the top, revealing a substantial arrangement of similar beaded jewelry, as well as a few gold necklaces, fake earrings, and a pair of metal rings. Alex slowly took off the rainbow bracelet and placed it carefully in one of the compartments. He then sat still for a moment, looking at it all, before pocketing one of the treasures and closing the box. As he tucked it back into its usual corner of the closet, Luke appeared standing by his side.

"I didn't know you liked jewelry," he said, offering Alex a hand up.

"Yeah well, it doesn't really fit the image, so…"

"What image?" Luke laughed, shaking Alex's hair, "you see me, right?"

"Your stuff is different, though, plus you don't really have to worry about the classic Mercer stare of disapproval." 

He pulled just the stare, a look tinged with condescension and suppressed anger. It was quite painful to be struck with.

"Okay, well, I'm sure you could get away with more than you think," Luke ducked down and pushed some clothes aside to retrieve the box.

"Oh hold up," he smirked up at Alex, "who do we have here?"

"Luke stop!" Alex pushed Luke over onto the floor, but it only made him laugh harder.

"You got a Joey Lawrence poster back there?"

"It's from when I was like 15, asshole" he kneeled down to grab a pillow and started to swing at Luke with it, but through his laughs Luke managed to grab hold of the weapon, toss it behind his head, grab Alex's forearms, and pull him into a sweet, completely disarming kiss.

Alex pulled away smiling, "I think that's cheating."

"All's fair in love and war, Mercer." Luke pushed Alex's face aside and sat up, returning to the closet to grab the box, "Now, you're telling me there ain't nothing in here you'd wear out?"

"Well, no, I'd wear some of it," he said, reaching into his back pocket.

"Whatcha got?"

"Okay, um," Alex coughed fumbling with the two silver rings in his hand, "so I don't really know what is too much too soon, I don't even know, like, what we are, but I- I wanted you to have something and—"

"Alex, we can be whatever you want, you know that," Luke took Alex's free hand in his own and gently stroked the place on his wrist where the beaded bracelet had just been, "we're both new to this, bro, and it's- well, ya know."

"Yeah…" Alex trailed off, forgetting anything but the feelings of that moment; the way it felt to have the ghost of Luke's kiss on his lips, to have Luke's hand in his, and to have those eyes, those everything eyes, on him.

"Was there something you wanted to give me?" Luke asked, breaking the spell.

Alex coughed and held out his palm to Luke, "I thought you might like to wear one of these, and I can wear the other." He kept his eyes down, embarrassed by the sentimentality of it all.

Luke reached out and picked one of the rings out of Alex's hand like it was an abandoned robin's egg, holding it up to his sheepishly smiling face.

"This is awesome, Alex," he whispered, "I- I love it."

"Does it go with your other one?" Alex asked, taking the other ring back into his lap, not daring to put it on just yet.

Luke slid the ring onto his right pointer finger and held out his hand, displaying both rings side by side, "Yep, they're perfect. You're perfect."

Luke reached behind the nape of Alex's neck and kissed him once again. It didn't matter how many times he did that, Alex was always caught by surprise, always filled with fluttering butterflies in his stomach.

"So, you gonna put yours on?" Luke asked.

Alex slid the ring onto his right thumb, his fingers were thinner than Luke's, and gazed at it proudly. It wasn't too much, he was sure he could wear it out and no one would know the difference.

"Alright," Luke pushed himself off the floor and sauntered over to the window, "I'll see later."

"Are you sneaking around front?" Alex stood, twirling the ring round and around.

"Nah, Reg and I are gonna swing by later," he said as he swung himself through the frame and onto the roof, "but first I gotta figure out where the hell Amy Braun lives."

*****

**January 21st, 2020**

Their performance was incredible, and they all knew it. What a shame it was that they might have ruined everything by getting caught. Reggie was hiding in the shower after his attempt to back up Carlos's ghost hunting to Tia backfired, while Alex and Luke were sitting up in the loft. They were both lost in their own worlds; Alex's mind was bouncing from the performance to Willie to the incredible feeling he got dancing with Dirty Candy. Looking at Luke, he could only assume he was thinking about one thing— Julie. He had to admit those two had serious chemistry, so much so that even Reggie noticed. It was nice to see Luke falling for someone. Maybe now they could finally reach the other side of the mountain, get past all of the "almost" they were trudging through.

"Hey, so I never told you happy birthday today," Alex said. Luke blinked at him, clearing away in whatever daydream in which he'd been lost.

"Oh! Thanks, Alex," he responded, "do birthdays even count when you're dead?"

Alex thought for a moment, spinning his drumstick mindlessly.

"Well, technically,  _ technically,  _ this is your 43rd, but seeing as we were literally frozen in time for twenty-five of those, I think it's safe to call you eighteen now. And if by count you mean matter, then obviously yes."

Luke laughed, shining his bright eyes and smile right at Alex. His smile never changed. It was always glowing, always infectious, always everything, and yet, Alex felt changed. It was in this moment that he knew he'd never truly get over Luke, and yet he could still move beyond him far enough so that he was just a beautiful silhouette of his past. He also knew that even though that smile made him feel like everything always, there was enough of Luke for anyone so lucky to experience him like this, and he had to be okay with that. He had to be happy for Luke, and he wanted to be happy for Julie.

As these thoughts continued to swarm in Alex's head, his eyes broke free from Luke's and wandered down to his hands wrapped around his crossing ankles.

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"How come you never took that ring off?" he nodded at the ring, tarnished with time and uninterrupted wear.

"Why didn't you keep yours on?"

"Because we broke up. That's what you're supposed to do when you stop…"

"Alex, you're my best friend, that's never gonna change, right? This ring," he took it off, rolling it between his thumb and pointer finger, "this ring is a rad gift my best friend gave me. I love him, I've always loved him, but in lots of different ways."

Luke slid the ring back on and took Alex's hand, pulling them both up to stand, "I'm not taking this ring off," he smiled and clapped Alex's shoulder twice, "unless you quit the band."

Luke clicked his tongue and poofed down to the couch, crossing his arms behind his head and closing his eyes.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be enjoying myself a celebratory nap for that rockin' show we just put on."

And so it seemed, Alex thought, that they were both on the same page. Only now, Alex felt extremely guilty for taking off that ring.

Reggie poofed in next to Luke, a towel wrapped in his hair, "Ya know, figuring out we could still shower has been the greatest discovery of death ever!"

"You know you're definitely wasting water doing that, right?" Alex poofed down to Reggie's left, "We're in a drought, Reg, be responsible."

"You know what, Alex? You don't have to—"

An electric jolt hit all three boys at once, a familiar, but continually growing pain.

"And that," Reggie grunted through his rough breathing, "is the absolute fucking worst part of death."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is definitely a little shorter than some, but I just wanted to say thank you to anyone who's reading! I love seeing comments and kudos so soon after first publishing. Anyway, buckle up, because this story is set to get pretty long and angsty. I'm hoping to get the entirety of the work finished and published by mid summer. Until then, enjoy <3


	6. Reggie Peters is Okay

**January 23rd, 2020**

Ray had retreated to his desk to eat lunch, as he had way too much work to get done. Reggie, having a similarly large amount of stuff on his mind, perched himself right next to his newfound friend. Hanging out with Ray always made Reggie feel better, even if Ray never talked back. He kind of reminded Reggie of Mr. Myerson: a quiet man with a kind heart and a rockin ribs recipe.

"Whatcha workin' on?" Reggie asked, leaning over to see Ray's computer, "Ah, editing? That's pretty cool."

Ray scratched his nose and took a bite of his sandwich.

"That looks good!"

Ray opened another tab.

"Ray, I wanted to talk to you about shi- I mean crap that's been bothering me. You're always such a great listener, you know."

A pause.

"I know we got haunting Bobby out of our system, but I just can't stop trying to figure out why he did it. I mean, I know he wasn't always the best, but we were a band. We were a family, and Bobby was supposed- he was supposed to have our backs! At least, he was supposed to have mine. I think he was always closer to me than Luke and Alex."

Ray reached a hand through Reggie's torso to grab a folder, causing Reggie to shudder. He really didn't like when people went through him.

"Bobby loved all of us, I know he did, and even when he got all weird about Luke, it wasn't- he wasn't a bad guy. I- I know he wasn't. I never thought he could do something so evil to all of us."

Ray got up and headed back to the kitchen to refill his water glass. Reggie followed close behind.

"Maybe it was my fault. He did get really mad that night I…"

Ray was whistling as he opened the fridge and grabbed an old cupcake.

"Ray, you good? Been eating a lot of sweets lately."

They sauntered back to the desk and Reggie plopped himself right on top of it, accidentally shifting a few papers. Ray didn't notice.

"No, no, I think he forgave me for that. It was all my fault, I didn't mean to, it was really fu- I mean fricking stupid."

Ray continued typing as he started to hum a familiar tune.

"Hey, that's our song! I knew you liked our music, my man."

And Reggie began to sing along.

******

**January 6th, 1995**

"Alright, before we head over there, I gotta let you know what's up."

Reggie was sitting in Bobby's front seat, already breaking into the pizza it was his turn to bring to practice. He had been staying with his bandmate ever since New Year's when Bobby first got back from his grandma's. He just couldn't bring himself to stick around the house. Mr. Myserson had offered to let Reggie stay at their place, but Reggie was too embarrassed to accept. Besides, he liked hanging out with Bobby; he was older than the other guys, had his own apartment, didn't ask too many questions, and was always chill with the girls Reggie brought around.

"Alright, shoot," Bobby started to pull out of the driveway.

"You know how Luke's been staying at Alex's for a bit? You're not gonna believe this, but—"

"Are you about to tell me we've got two gay bandmates, 'cause I'll beleive you on that."

Reggie was a bit taken aback, not only by how insolent the comment was, but also by the fact that Bobby picked up on Luke and Alex at all. It took Reggie a good few days to realize what was going on. He always had a sense that Alex had a crush on Luke— who  _ wouldn't _ fall for that guy, regardless of sexuality— but he would have never guessed Luke would reciprocate that.

It's not that he assumed Luke was completely straight. There were little things that had clued him in, mostly his overly passionate 70s rock obsession, but there were also times when he wondered if Luke was into dating at all. It was always music with him. Music, and now it seemed, their drummer.

"Well, Luke hasn't told us anything about that, but yeah I guess."

"Good for them," Bobby said stiffly, "like no, obviously I'm cool with it, we all are. Alex is one of my best friends, Luke too, but you gotta see how this isn't the best for us, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on, Reg, how are we gonna get anywhere with this going on? The industry isn't as accepting as you and I, ya know. They better be planning on keeping it under wraps, otherwise they're being selfish."

Reggie didn't know what to say. Deep down, he knew Bobby was right; it didn't matter if rock was about breaking rules, this wasn't something that would go over well with record execs, especially with a rising band like Sunset Curve. He had to admit, the thought had crossed his mind once or twice since Alex came out, but he always brushed it away. He didn't want to be the one to tell his friends who they can and can't be.

"I guess you're right," he mumbled, "it just doesn't seem fair."

"Trust me, I know," Bobby responded, "but we all have to make sacrifices for this thing, including you and me."

"Y- you and me?" Reggie asked.

"Yeah, I mean, who's the one writing all the songs? Do you see me complaining?"

"Well, Luke is the best songwriter out of all of—"

"But that doesn't mean he should have a monopoly over what we try out. I've got some ideas, too, and so do you."

Reggie sat back in his seat, not quite sure how to respond, so he grabbed another slice from the box and took three huge bites, beating back the need to speak. His thoughts wandered a bit, until he forced them back somewhere familiar. He wondered what that girl Maegan was doing tonight.

*****

It was 3:15pm and Reggie and Bobby were late. For the first time in the short history of Sunset Curve, their tardiness may have been a good thing.

Alex sat behind his drum set twisting back and forth on the stool, while Luke was mindlessly riffing on his guitar from his favorite couch spot. Luke had a tendency to zone out when he had that guitar in his hands. Looking at him, Alex couldn't tell where he was, but it was somewhere he longed to be. The sun beaming in through the windows lit up his hair, revealing natural highlights Alex had never noticed before. And then there was the way Luke's hands looked dancing on the strings, the ring Alex had given him twinkling back at the drummer as if to say, "I'm yours."

"Shit," Alex mumbled to himself as his hands dropped his sticks, his legs pushed him back and up from his drums, and his feet carried him right up to the brown haired boy. Before Luke had a chance to come back from wherever his guitar had him, Alex had one hand against the wall and the other grabbing Luke's face, his lips pressing hard against his. This kiss was different from the warm and sweet ones Luke gave Alex during their stolen moments together, it was much more rough and desperate. Luke backed away for a moment to set his guitar to the side before yanking Alex back in by the back of his head. God, he was good at this. Next thing Alex knew, he was stradling Luke with his left hand on his strong jaw and his right running up and down his torso. Maybe he was good at this, too. Luke's hands made their way down to Alex's hips, but just as he moved to pull him closer, the garage door was opening. Alex accidentally bit down on Luke's lip, causing him to let out a high pitched yelp as Alex fell backwards off of him.

"WE WERE JUST—" Alex started, but was interrupted by an absurd laugh coming from Reggie, silhouetted by the light outside.

"You yelled like a little girl!" he cackled, pointing at Luke, who was giggling with his lower lip held between two fingers. It seemed that Bobby and Alex were the only ones blushing.

"Eh-hem," Bobby crossed his arms, "you guys ready to rehearse, or is this a bad time?"

"Aw come one, Bobby," Luke jumped up and pushed his friend into the studio, closing the door, "not our fault you're single, alright?" he pecked him quickly and wiped the cheek, then pushed his head away as he made his way back over to his guitar.

Alex took his spot behind the drums as Luke began to take charge of starting rehearsals.

"Alright, new song, bros," Luke piped, picking up his journal, "it's called 'Bright."

There was a loud bang, and the band turned to see Alex jumping to retrieve the symbols he'd just knocked over. After a moment of standing and watching Alex reset, they resumed.

"Uh, so Alex already knows it," Luke continued.

"That much was obvious," joshed Bobby as he raised his eyebrows at Reggie, who returned the expression for a split second, then looked down at the floor.

*****

**January 23rd, 2020**

Ray had stopped humming the tune, and was back focused on the task at hand. Reggie, still the only phantom around, continued to speak.

"Ray, I went back to his mansion the other day. I went without the guys."

It was silent except for Ray's typing and Reggie's deep breathing.

"Don't worry, I didn't do anything. I just, I just watched. I watched this old, weird smelling guy walk around his massive home drinking some weird green juice, being a real awful dad, ignoring Carrie, meditating and making meaningless calls all day and I thought, 'this is not my Bobby.' But what if it is, Ray? I mean what if I just ignored everything? What if he was always a fucking douchebag— sorry— and I just never wanted to see it?"

*****

**January 13th, 1995**

Sound check was… okay. Sunset Curve had been rehearsing nonstop to get ready for their first gig at Safari Sam's, but the set was relatively new, and the energy was off. Of course, Luke was completely alive, but Bobby was short and sharp with everyone, and Reggie was struggling to get through their new version of "Bright." At Alex's suggestion, it was no longer a duet, but Reggie was pulling out a lot of supporting vocals, and it didn't feel right. He felt like he was intruding on something sacred when he sang those words, because he knew that they had meant something to his best friends. He also knew that whatever those words meant to each of them, no one else could find out.

The four of them had retreated to the green room, hopeful that the performance that night would be much stronger.

"Guys, come on," Luke started, jumping up onto an old fold out table, "tonight's gonna rock. We just gotta tighten things up a bit more."

Reggie threw himself onto a dusty couch and started rummaging through his backpack.

"Oh I'm tight, Luke, that's the problem," he pulled out an eyeliner and picked a hair off of it, "this is still good, right?"

Bobby reached over his shoulder and snagged the visibly unusable pencil.

"That's an infection waiting to happen. You can use mine. You guys need some?" He pulled his out of a jacket pocket and tossed it to Reggie, who took a spot on the stool in front of the dirty mirror they were provided

"I don't know if that's the scene tonight, dog," Luke took a seat next to Alex, his arm falling over his shoulder. 

"Yeah, I- I think I'm good, thanks though," Alex added with a quiet smile.

Bobby rolled his eyes.

"Uh, Bobby?" Reggie turned back to the group, an ugly smear of black crowding one eye, "I don't think I know how to use liquid."

Luke and Alex burst into unrelenting laughs,

"Bro, this is why we ain't doing that shit," Luke joked, pointing at himself with Alex muffling laughs into his shoulder.

"Alright, don't listen to them," Bobby grabbed a wipe off the table and proceeded to rub at the big black mistake on the bassist's red face, "just let me do it."

He took the eyeliner back from Reggie and proceeded to draw around his wide eyes a thin, jet black outline, smudged ever so intentionally under the lashes. He bit his tongue between his teeth as he worked, concentrated despite Luke and Alex's loud voices behind him.

"Uh uh, don't try to tell me you don't like 'I'm In Love With My Car,' Mercer."

"I never said that, I said I'd rather listen to any other Queen song over it."

"Fuck you."

Over their incessant giggling, Bobby finished up and took a step back.

"There ya go, lady killer ready to hit the stage."

Reggie exhaled, turned to the mirror and gave his reflection a wink.

"Hell yeah."


	7. Valentine's Day Part 1

**January 28th, 2020**

After rehearsals and that interesting little chemistry experiment, Reggie retreated to the house for some time on Carlos's laptop, leaving Luke and Alex alone in the garage. With not much to do, they sat across from one another on the couch, feet criss crossed over each other.

"You don't actually think there's something between Julie and I, do you?" Luke asked, kicking the sole of Alex's high top.

Alex looked over at Luke with bemused disbelief.

"I think the fact that even Reggie noticed the way you look at her is telling."

"But that's just—"

"And the fact that you  _ had _ to go see her at school this morning really hurts your case."

"Well—"

"Luke, are you trying to convince me or yourself right now?"

"She's just-" he paused as a shy smile settled on his face. He shook his head, "Fine, then tell me what you really think about it. Be brutal."

"I'm not gonna brutilize you for your feelings," he paused, knocking his knuckles together, "I think I'm happy for you, just like you were for me with Willie."

"I liked seeing you like that, all smiley and stuff with somebody."

"Well, don't you deserve that? I like seeing you all smiley with someone else, too. You don't need to protect me from anything, Luke. I want you to be happy."

Luke looked up at his friend, and saw him as he had been; he had been a scared young dude with his only solace in the beat of his drums; he had been a thought in the back of Luke's mind late at night, a thought that had terrified him at one point, but that time was long past, as were the days when Alex had been a boy who let Luke love him. Alex was Luke's only happiness at one point. Maybe he didn't realize it at the time, maybe he thought it was the music keeping him going, but the music was never born out of nothing. Alex was the music. Alex was happiness. But now, things were different.

"Well it's not like there's any chance there, even if I do like her like that."

Alex thought for a moment.

"You know Luke, it- it was really hard for us to be together, wasn't it?"

"Well I wouldn't say I found you too challenging to—"

"Not like that, you dork," he kicked at Luke, blushing alongside past Alex in every memory that was rushing through his mind.

"Nah, I got what you meant. What's your point?"

"Okay, I know the whole idea of being with someone you can't even touch seems impossible to you, but maybe- maybe the impossible is worth a try."

"You really think it was worth a try with us?" Luke asked, leaning forward and placing a hand on Alex's ankle, "Even with how things ended?"

A shadow drifted over Alex's face, another memory rushing in, carrying with it all the pain leftover from those days.

"You know, I really don't wanna think Julie would hurt you like I did, but yeah, at least on my end, I think it was worth it."

Luke smiled at Alex, a friendly smile.

"You know I love you, man, always."

"Yeah I know," Alex coughed and resumed tapping his knuckles together, "I- I love you, too."

And he meant it. He always meant it.

*****

**February 14th, 1995**

Valentine's Day was indeed one of the most forgetful holidays of which Alex Mercer could think. Usually, the day would be spent trudging through school with his head down, and the evenings would consist of bingeing on chocolates with Beth and retreating to the family room to watch whatever romcom VHS Beth drummed up.

"The only good ones," she would say, "are those where the man is hot and irrelevant."

It was usually  _ 16 Candles.  _

Then there was this year.

"You guys going on a date?" Beth asked from Alex's bedroom door, dawning a dark red sweater and black pleated skirt. Alex pulled on his sneakers and swung his backpack over one shoulder.

"I- I don't know. Not sure this day is really Luke's style."

"Hmm," Beth eased into the room and closed the door behind her, "well, seeing as I'm not gonna be around tonight, I think time with the boy literally living in our garage is inevitable for you."

Alex glanced out the window down at the heavy white doors. If he angled himself right, he could just barely see Luke's face through the rectangular glass panes, asleep on his favorite couch. Before he lost himself in that sunlit face, He turned back to Beth.

"Wait, what?"

"I said I don't see how you're gonna avoid—"

"No no no, the first part," Alex cocked his head, " _ you  _ have a date?"

Beth grinned, "You're not the only one with anything interesting going on."

She snapped her fingers in his face and pivoted towards the door.

"Hold up hold up- What's his name?"

"None of your business," she winked back over her shoulder and headed out the door.

*****

"Yo, Patterson!" 

A cushion hit Luke right in the face, rousing him from his sleep. Beth was standing above him, a mischievous look in her eyes.

"Ugh, you're killin' me here, Bunny B"

"Okay first of all, you can stop with whatever that nonsense is," she pushed his legs off the couch and perched next to him, "Second, how's V-day plans going for m'big bro?"

Luke jolted right up, "Shit!"

Beth continued calmly, "So I'm guessing you forgot?"

"W-w-well I mean I can't really keep track of the days when I'm squatting in your garage, Liz."

"Again, we don't need new nicknames, and you don't have to worry. I know you're helpless without your guitar. Alyiah and I were prepared for this. "

"Oh my god, you lifesavers, thank you!"

"The shop closes at 9:30, so show up ten after."

"Okay, okay, got ya, I can handle this."

"Great," Beth stood back up and pat Luke's head before heading out, "you know, for someone so hopelessly in love, you're really effing bad at it."

"Good where it counts, little Mercer, good where it counts."

*****

"Reggie, get up!" Bobby kicked the couch where his friend had passed out the night before, when the lingering smells were still fresh, "You have to go to school."

Reggie turned over, groaning, "What are you, my mom? Fuck off."

"Reg," Bobby pressed, this time reaching over the back of the sofa and rolling the pile of Reggie onto the floor, "if your parents try and call me again, you're going home."

"They won't," he spit, pulling himself up off the floor, brushing crumbs off his shoulder and shirt front, "trust me, I'm the last thing on their mind. What's cookin?"

He let his nose lead him to the stove where bacon was frying, "Holy shit I'm starving."

Bobby stepped in to block his path, arms crossed, "Uh uh, my food. Grab a PopTart to go please."

"You really are my mom," Reggie pouted, trudging off, "We don't got rehearsals today, do we?"

Bobby chuckled to himself, "Yeah, I don't think we wanna go over there today."

"Why?"

Bobby looked at him, but Reggie just stared back quizzically until, after a good six seconds, a light turned on.

"Ooohhhhh," he said.

"Uh huh," Bobby turned and grabbed a pair of oversized tongs to flip the bacon with, "so, yeah, we won't be practicing today."

Reggie reached over the counter for the PopTart box, left there overnight after their intense Star Wars screening, and pulled out his reluctant breakfast.

"So," he spoke through a mouthful of stale pastry and crusty frosting, "what're we doing tonight?"

"Are you telling me the great Reggie Peters doesn't have a date for Valentine's? What about that Maegan chic?"

"Nah," he waved a hand.

"Amy?"

Reggie shook his head, already starting in on the second PopTart in the pack.

"You know, for someone of your reputation, you're awfully picky, today."

Bobby turned the stove off and lifted the frying pan up to his face. Then, with the same tongs he'd used to flip the meat, he dug into the still sizzling, greasy mess.

Reggie watched Bobby eat for a moment with the same demeanor as a pouting child denied a pony, before turning around and searching the room for something.

"Ah hah!" he lunged down and picked up a dusty wooden pencil from under the coffee table and shoved it in his back pocket.

"Don't make any plans tonight, bro," Reggie shot finger guns at Bobby as he backed out the door, "We're doing V-day the single dude's way."   
"Whatever, man," Bobby replied.

"See ya when I get back!"

"You're not going to school, are you?" 

Reggie called over his shoulder, one foot out the door, "Not even for a second."

****

**January 28th, 2020**

"He's really going for this, isn't he?" Reggie whispered to Alex as they watched the final moments of their performance play on, Luke inches away from Julie.

"I guess so," Alex half smiled at the scene, feeling as if he were miles away, like this was Julie and Luke's world, and he was merely a spectral spectator. They looked so beautiful together.

Reggie put his hand on Alex's shoulder, "Sorry your afterlife love didn't go too well."

Alex gave him an annoyed look, "Anyone ever told you not to insult the dead?"

There was a deafening cheer, and the two ghosts looked up to see Julie taking her bow. Luke poofed in beside them with a silence one would have never placed on him, the usually rambunctious post-show celebrator. Instead, he looked on at the girl who made the dead feel alive. As Alex watched his eyes follow her movements through the crowd, he thought first and foremost about how lovely he found the scene, how incredible it was to see his best friend blushing and fawning for someone; he barely even noticed the small, nagging voice in the back corner of his mind, whispering jealousy and guilt. He shook free of its loose grasp and maintained himself as the Alex who just finished rocking out on the drums, instead of the Alex bogged down by little devils on the shoulder.

"That was," Luke began to pull his gaze away as Julie continued on through the crowd, hand in hand with Flynn, "incredible." He looked up at Alex and Reggie, the most wondrous smile spread wide across his face.

"Heck yeah it was!" Reggie exclaimed as he poofed out and back in quickly, placing himself with his arms draped on both his buddies shoulders.

"Dude, that riff!" Alex clapped hands with Luke across Reggie, "Where has that been?"

Luke shrugged, "Just a little somethin' somethin', thought I needed to pull it out."

"Yeah well, "I think you definitely got what you wanted out of it," Reggie winked at his friend. Luke glanced quickly at Alex, then returned to his previous occupation of watching Julie, smiling just as he always did.

*****

**February 14th, 1995**

"I think I like you driving more than me," Alex joked from the passenger seat of his own car. Luke, still a bit slick with the sweat accumulated walking all the way to the school for this, laughed.

"Well, when you got a lot of things planned, you can't be driving like my grandma."

"A lot of things? Luke, you know you didn't have to do any—"

"Oh yes I did."

"All I did was get you cookies…"

"And that," Luke reached across the console and ruffled Alex's hair for the third time since they started driving, "is all ya had to do for old Luke."

"Can you please just keep both hands on the wheel?"

*****

"Alright, first stop of the evening," Luke said as he bumped the curve attempting to parallel park, "Yikes! My bad."

Looking out the window, Alex recognized a community park his dad had once driven him past. It was smaller and more gray than in his memory, but he couldn't blame his younger self; he most likely had been pouting in the backseat, wishing to be going anywhere other than Great Aunt Marie's birthday party.

In that current moment, however, standing on the curb while Luke rummaged through his backpack, he could almost blink the right image into existence; he could see a blue sky, soft green grass, and a happy little Alex running barefoot towards the swings. He didn't smell dusty china or too strong perfume, he smelt someone's cool uncle flipping burgers and fresh cut flowers.

"Alex?" Luke called from behind as he slammed the back door and rounded the car. He came up a bit too fast, though, for the sight of a plastic wrapped bouquet of sunflowers was the equivalent to the sight of a lit stick of dynamite, causing Alex to stagger back and search for cover.

"What are you-" Alex pulled Luke in by the arm to whisper, his eyes combing the grounds for any familiar faces, "why do you have those?"

"Uh, I thought they were your favorites?" Luke said, his voice bouncing with confusion, "they're a bit messed up from being in my bag, but—"

"Okay thank you, but," Alex snatched the bouquet and put it back in the car, carefully shutting the door as he continued looking around at the park goers, "maybe don't just pull them out on me like that?"

Luke looked down at the grass under his shoes, then at all the people who were holding his date's attention.

"Are you okay with goin' on a picnic with me?" he tried to laugh, "I don't think the sandwiches'll keep in the car."

Alex, who had just finished determining he in fact did not know anyone in sight, looked into Luke's eyes and witnessed all but him melting away. He forgot to care for a moment.

"Yeah, yeah of course."

Luke held out a hand, but Alex seemed not to notice, instead walking ahead of him towards the playground.

"Race ya to the slide?"

Luke looked down at his silver ring, wrapping two fingers around it. A smile peeked out from the corner of his mouth.

"I'll kick your ass, Mercer!"

*****

"I'm sorry, you bought what movie?" Bobby placed the popcorn bowl between him and Reggie on the couch and pushed a couple of discount chocolate boxes off the coffee table to put his feet up.

"Uh, the most incredible movie of my childhood ever, one which you, sir, should respect."

"Yeah, Reg, I don't think  _ E.T. _ is the single dude's Valentine's Day event you think it is."

"Shhh!" Reggie cupped a hand over Bobby's mouth as the tape started, the sound of a flute blaring from Bobby's beefed up speakers, "Here he comes!"

Bobby pushed Reggie off of him and reclined himself back on the sofa with his hands behind his head, posing for no one. Just as he had gotten comfortable, though, the phone rang.

"Shhhh!" Reggie shamed the phone.

"'Shhhh' yourself," Bobby pushed himself up and jogged to grab the phone off the receiver, "turn it down."

"Uh uh, you cannot tell me to quiet this  _ masterpiece _ of a score," Reggie took a long sip of his Pepsi, eyes glued to E.T. as he took his first steps on Earth.

"Hello?" Bobby answered, plugging his free ear with his finger, 

"Yes ma'am he's alright. I- hold on one moment," he covered the phone with his palm, "it's your mom, Reg, she wants to talk to you."

"Tell her I'm not here," he waved a hand over his shoulder, not breaking from the movie.

"Reggie, your mom wants to talk to you."

"I  _ said  _ tell her I'm not here," Reggie raised his voice as he shot a glare over his shoulder.

"She  _ knows _ you're here, Reg, just talk to her," Bobby insisted.

Reggie turned back around and proceeded to turn up the movie's volume, blasting alien noises and a ringing, familiar music through the whole apartment.

"Turn that down!" Bobby yelled, hand still muffling whatever Mrs. Peters could hear.

Reggie refused silently, letting Bobby's voice pass right through his head. There was no use in pressing further.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. P," he spoke as softly as he could considering the noise, "he can't talk right now. I- yes I know. Yes ma'am. Okay, thank you I will. He- he says he loves you. Alright, goodnight, Mrs. P."

Bobby slowly made his way back over to the couch. Reggie didn't look at him.

"She's worried about you, man," he said. Reggie started picking at his fingernails, but still refused to look anywhere but up at the screen.

"Dude, you can't just—"

"We're not talking about it, Bobby. We're watching  _ E.T. _ "

"Okay," Bobby sighed, "we're watching  _ E.T _ ."


End file.
